Part 3

We knew that it was a huge possibility that our first IUI wouldn't work. Odds aren't in favor of it working the first time; in fact, with all fertility treatments they say the first one isn't the best odds. It doesn't stop you from getting your hopes up and thinking you will be the exception.

For our 2nd IUI, I had 2 mature eggs that would ovulate and Coby had taken some medicine to hopefully boost his count (it didn't do much), but we were hopeful. After our 2 week wait I had to have Coby go in the bathroom and look at the test because I couldn't do it. His poor face when he came out... I knew he didn't really know what to tell me. All of our negatives resulted in me sobbing into his chest for a while and him telling me "one more month, we just have to wait one more month." I felt like we had been waiting SO long... why one more month??? I don't know if we will ever know why this trial was picked for us, but we know it's part of our plan and our Heavenly Father sees the big picture... we just don't get it yet.

The thing with Dr. Craig is that you don't see him very much. You see him to decide what's next (for about a whole 10 minutes) and then you see his PA the rest of the time. He told us we could do up to 4 IUI's, but our chances were a lot higher with IVF. We decided we'd give it a third try then probably move on to IVF. Jennifer is Dr. Craig's PA and I LOVED her. She was so kind and witty, she always made me comfortable, and was so positive. For our 3rd IUI we added an extra shot to the mix for me, and still had Coby on a pill to boost his count. I had 2 possibly 3 eggs that would be mature for this round, chances were higher with more eggs right, so we again had high hopes it would work. I remember we tried to push back my trigger day (trigger is when I take the shot to make me ovulate. IUI is done 38 hrs after trigger shot... on the dot) by 1 day so we could get the 3rd egg a little bigger (if it isn't a certain size, it won't be mature enough to ovulate). It was a dilemma because if the other eggs got too big and I ovulated on my own, we wouldn't have the exact timing. You can still get pregnant within 24 hrs of ovulation, but we wanted the timing to be right so bad. We took the risk and are pretty sure I didn't ovulate on my own, so we were still on our right time schedule. ...another 2 week wait...

We took the test at midnight... the very start of the day we were allowed to test. Coby was on the computer and I walked out, sat on his lap, and just started crying. You put so much hope into these procedures, a lot of money, time, prayers... it is draining. We sat there for so long, I had so many times that I just wanted to be done and didn't want to try anything anymore. It was so hard. "One more month" he'd tell me... "we just have to wait one more month" I can't tell you how bad I didn't want to wait one more month anymore. I just wanted a glimpse into the future and to see it would eventually be ok. I didn't know how much more I could handle. Coby would have his hard days too, but luckily I don't think we ever had a hard day on the same day so we could be there for each other. 3 IUI's down... all negative.

My relief society president was such a blessing. She had done IVF 6 times, it worked 4 times... she got it. She knew what we were going through and I think she was the president at that time for me. She knew my dr, had actually gone to him for one of her procedures, and could suggest other options for us. One day I came home to flowers on my doorstep and a card. I don't think she knows how much the card helped. It was just what I needed to make that next appointment.